Trying To Find My Tribe

I finally felt good last night. I went to a punk rock matinee put on by No Apathy. Even though I only spoke to about four or five people I really liked them all. They were so nice and so welcoming. I really think that punk rock music is missing that element.
There were lots of booths with information displayed about different social issues or music related. There were also vegan baked goods! The vegan cookies were legit. I met a couple people at the Animal Lib. table who I felt good about. I explained to them what I was interested in and they gave me some advice. I told them that I don't have any vegan friends and they seemed a little surprised and then invited me out to their potluck. How sweet! I am definitely going to. I feel like I am astranged from the vegan community.

10 hours 10 hours 10 hours

On a ten hour bus ride to New York City, half way there. I am hungry and my tooth hole hurts. I got one of my molers removed two days ago. I sat a stressful test last night for my Astronomy course and now I get to relax and have fun in NYC.
After I get back I am going to get my hair shaved and then by the 13th I'll be in Jamaica for two weeks.
Couch surfing with Gillian in NYC. Should be great.

Wrong number, sorry.

Another person of the male persuasion bailed on me. One day I will meet an attractive man who is honest and kind.
Thank god that Sweet Dee knows what's up.
"I don't have time for your shit you dumbass dicksbags."

I don't want my name to be followed by dates.

You can draw my bath and load my gun.
I just don't know if I'll bathe and hunt.

If you would come back home.

What do you do when your friend announces on facebook that he is getting married? He didn't even tell you in person or on the phone and he had the opportunity to. He cheated on his girlfriend and then gave her an STI. He treated her like shit and then dragged of all his friends into their fights. Now they are getting married?
Are you fucking insane? What a terrible idea! Not that I ever see you anyways because you can't go anywhere without her but once you are married I actually will never see you because you plan to get a "fresh start" in Ottawa. How about staying put and fixing your problems? Your fucked up bullshit isn't just going to stay in Toronto. You think that the drinking, drugs and cheating are all going to stay in Toronto because Toronto is the common denominator in those equations? The common denominate is you! So maybe instead of getting a fresh start and leaving all of the people who have supported you through each disastrous relationship you have got yourself into, you should stay here, go to counselling, break up with your stupid ass girlfriend and get your life back on track.

Or maybe we will just never see you again.

vegan yoga sex party elitist torontonians.

Really though. I am vegan, I like sex, I like yoga and I live in Toronto. I don't think I'm an elitist though. I am a fairly nice person and wouldn't make some one else feel like shit. Although some of my friends have told me that I do make them feel like shit sometimes because of the things I choose to do in my life, aka, veganism, voluntering, social work, travelling, etc. There may have been a point in my life where I tried to show off but I am fairly certain I don't do that anymore. I just do what I enjoy and sometimes I think it makes others revaluate their own lifestyles and they become defensive.

I have started reading Sex at Dawn. I have been flirting with the idea of being in a non-monogamous relationship. I truely think it is the best way to have a relationship and it completely makes sense to me. What doesn't make as much sense to me is how to unlearn the "normal" emotions that are tangled into a monogamous relationship. Jealously. Possession. Etc.

Here is an excerpt that made a lot of sense to me:
No group-living nonhuman primate is monogamous, and adultery has been documented in every human culture studied-including those in which fornicators are routinely stoned to death. In light of all this bloody retribution, it's hard to see how monogamy comes "naturally" to our species. Why would so many risk their reputations, families, careers-even presidential legacies-for something that runs against human nature? Were monogamy an ancient, evolved trait characteristic of our species, as the standard narrative insists, these ubiquitous transgressions would be infrequent and such horrible enforcement unnecessary. No creature needs to be threatened with death to act in accord with its own nature.

All I want to do in my spare time is snowboard.

There is still love at the end of the world

I have started school again. I am attending York University for International Development Studies. Right now I am taking one course, twice a week (6 credits) while working full time. It has been interesting so far. I am taking a gen ed, Astronomy (my mandatory science) and I feel like it is a bit over my head. However, it is a challenge and I am happy to have a challenge. It keeps me busy and god do I miss being busy. When I am not at work, the gym or school I am studying. Maybe that was my problem the whole time. I missed being busy and being challenged. We will see, it's only my first week so the depression may come back. It generally comes in waves.

I also have a couch surfer right now. I like having them every now and then. Other than the fact that I enjoy their company, helping them around the city and introducing them to Toronto life, I like the fact that they make me keep my apartment clean. If I know they are coming I have to clean and make sure all of the dishes are done. They keep me on my toes. Sometimes I just get too damn lazy.

I am feeling good today :)