It is just hard to get ready for my day. I have today all planned out. Snowboarding at Centennial Park for a couple of hours, finishing up my review of The Dirty Heads and then grocery shopping. Why can't I just get out of bed and start my day?
I love snowboarding even though I am not very good. Yet, I am scared to go. Are the hills going to be really steep and difficult? Will it feel like I am back at square one? Why can't I just get up and go? I know that I will end up going but it will be with much anxiety over whether or not I will be able to ride again.
Is this depression? I wonder why I make such a big deal about things in my head. Who else would this possibly matter to yet it paralyses me in my bed.
How about I just go out and if I suck then I suck. I won't get better though if I stay in bed. Hopefully this positive self talk will make me feel better and actually allow me to enjoy myself.
I have decided that I want to be in a band. I can sing and it drives me crazy that my friends don't take me seriously when I ask them to let me sing in their bands. They all have multiple bands and yet I am not included in any of them. I use to think it was a boys club but then Pam got involved so I guess it's me. Either way I am going to record some acapella stuff on my laptop search craigslist ads for bands needing vocals. Hopefully I'll find a match. Singing makes me so happy and I feel like I am missing out on something by singing alone... in my car... haha.
Four days of work left and then I have 10 days off. That is going to be fantastic. I will definitely be hitting the slopes during my break. One of those slopes will be the tremendous Mont Tremblant for New Years with Sarah, Alyssa, Greg and Scott.
Phew! Ok I feel better now.
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