Fantasy

Wow so I haven't updated in a while. I am still dealing with similar emotions. I am still working hard as the Senior Support Worker of the group home. Things are okay there, one of the clients gives me a lot of anxiety though. She has the potential to be violent and gets underneath all of the other resident's skin and causes a lot of fights. I hate being a referee. I have thought of solutions to some of the problems which should help avoid the fighting, it only happens when they are all together so if I can keep them busy and only keep them together when they need to be, hopefully we can all get through this until she leaves.

I am still lonely. I really like this guy that I work with but gossip tells me that he sleeps around. I would never let gossip be the reason that I don't give some one a chance but I can't help think that there is some truth in the gossip. If I were in his shoes, however, I would hate for some one to have negative preconceived notions about me before even giving me a shot. One of my best friends was told me hate me before he met me because his girlfriend didn't like him. Turned out they broke up and we are still really close to this day. So I guess you can't always believe gossip.
I don't know why I feel like I need some one else. I just got out of a relationship and all I can think about it having one person to spend my time with. I fantasize about a cute existence between me and a guy with tattoos (speaking of tattoos, check my new one above!), he would be caring and love me to no end. We would go to shows together and watch good movies. We would live together and adopt a puppy.

I think fantasies get me through the weeks.

I have my sights set on McGill. I am going there on November 26th for a tour of the campus. I will be taking International Development Studies next year and I am hoping to get into McGill. I originally thought I was going to live at home and go to York but the longer I stay at home the more I realize that I can't live at home anymore. I have no social life here, all of my friends have moved away and there is no hope to make new ones in a town of 8000. Take me to a city where I can go out and meet new people. Take me out of this small town where everyone knows each other and where gossip spreads like wildfire. Take me to a place of culture and diversity.

Actually, I'll take myself.